How do you keep your sanity with all that is going on? How do you find balance when you are mom, cook, teacher, worker, and wife/girlfriend? How do you maintain your peace of mind amid chaos and uncertain times? How do you relax when you have a never-ending to-do list and so many things that worry you?
Mental Health is often overlooked in a woman’s life. We are taught to be strong and to put ourselves last. This can lead to being overwhelmed or having a breakdown. In addition to our normal load of responsibilities, we are in the middle of a pandemic where social distancing and masks have become a part of our daily lives. Women are working from home with their families and many are essential workers going out every day to serve in hospitals and stores. We are forced to choose to homeschool our children, have them participate in virtual school, or to send them to face to face learning. All these things and more can take a toll on a woman’s mental health. What can we do about it? What should we do about it?
Let me start by saying my daily goal is to thrive through the day not just survive the day. Survive means to continue to live or exist in spite of danger or hardship. Thrive means to grow, develop well, and flourish. Jillian Michaels says, “Thriving. That’s fighting. Surviving is barely getting by.” Bad or stressful days don’t have to define you. Even if it is raining, you can still focus on the sun if you change your mindset. Is it easy? No, but it is possible and will be worth it. You were meant to Thrive!
Do you want to move past survival to thriving? If so, learning to Thrive not Survive can be summed up in Five Steps:
1) Start the day with self-care. This time does not have to be lengthy, but it is imperative to feed your soul on a regular basis. I like to start my day with a 15-minute devotional and positive scriptures of God’s promises. I also have a list of inspirational quotes that I refer to on very stressful days. My husband starts his day with inspirational videos and praise and worship music. Find different things that work for you and mix it up. There isn’t one way to do self-care.
2) Create a Routine. I am a big advocate of creating a schedule and making routines. No everyday does not have to follow a strict schedule but having a morning routine and a nightly routine can keep stress down and ensure you have time for yourself. It takes 21 days to create a habit, so start today with a routine for your day, for your family, for your home.
3) Focus on the Positive. It is imperative to change your mindset and see the cup as half full and know that a bad day is not a bad life. I count my blessings even when things aren’t as I hoped. When I feel the urge to complain, I list things I am grateful for and it helps me smile in the storms of life. William Arthur Ward says, “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
4) Grant Yourself Some Grace. This is a phrase we use often in my home. No one has it together all the time. You do not have to be perfect. You just have to be consistent and aim to do better each day. Don’t beat yourself up if you missed something today or if something did not turn out as planned.
5) Put in the work. Give you job 100%, but also work on your goals and your plans. Nothing in your life will change if you don’t. Whatever it is you want to accomplish, work on it. Don’t just talk about it or dream about it. Act on it.
Learning to be an Unaverage Woman is the journey of a lifetime. Taking care of your mental health is one aspect of womanhood that cannot be overlooked. Make your mental health a priority and learn ways to thrive through the day. Practice self-care, grant yourself some grace, and make a routine that keeps stress and worry at bay. Shine is a state of mind and you can thrive no matter how many hats you wear. The choice is up to you. You can run the day, or the day can run you.