When I decided to declutter my life, I started with my physical clutter. The things I could see. During this process, I realized that a lot of our clutter is emotional, relational, and mental; the not so obvious parts of our closet or life that we really need to address to make space for the NEW YOU.
Growing up my dad always told me that what you think about yourself is who you are and to be careful of who I call friend. Most of you may remember some similar words of wisdom from your parents or someone else during your childhood. Well as you grow and learn, those words come to life. Who hasn’t had a fake friend or felt dumb or worthless after a mistake or bad decision? At the time you couldn’t see that the thing or the person wasn’t good for you.
Eleanor Brown said, “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.”
So, anything in your life that does not support you being a better version of yourself, an Unaverage Woman, is clutter! Wow! That is crazy, right? As you read this, I am sure you can think of some things in your life that don’t support a better version of you. But how do you address the invisible clutter in your life?
The first step is to identify them. Make a list of them. I am a believer in lists. List of what to do, what not to do, lists of how to do this or that, and the list goes on. It is so important to write down what is keeping you from being the best you, so it is no longer allowed to linger in the shadows of your life. It will take being honest with yourself and taking an introspective look at your life. I had to learn to not let the fear of failure keep me from trying new things and to stop doubting myself. I used to tell myself what I couldn’t do before I started or tried. I love to bake; and I wanted to sale desserts for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I figured out the inventory I would need, what items I would bake to sell, and made a price list. I never did it. Not because people didn’t like my baked goods or because I didn’t have the startup funds. I talked myself out of it. I told myself that I needed professional baking classes, I wouldn’t have enough clients, and that it would never work. Then the idea died, and I buried it. I even told myself that it was good I didn’t go down that road and disappoint myself.
The next step is to address each one. In order to address what I told myself, I had to replace the negative words and thoughts with positive ones. I went on a journey to feed my soul with nothing but inspiration. I read inspirational books, devotionals, and made a list of positive quotes and scriptures for my life that I printed out and put up where I could see it and revisit it on days where I didn’t feel so optimistic. You must become your own cheerleader and know that you are special, capable, and can do anything you set your mind on doing.
Your emotional or mental clutter may be different from mine, you may need to address regret or guilt from missed opportunities or things from your past. You must identify that regret or guilt and let it go. Forgive yourself and move on with a lesson learned. You cannot carry that thing or situation into your future.
You may have relational clutter to address with things or people.
Bad habits can clutter your life – always being late or procrastinating. These are things you can change. Make a schedule for yourself, with times for different things that benefit a better you. Have a calendar of your events and change the time to 15 or 20 minutes before the real time so you can be there early. Practicing new, good habits can lessen the bad ones. It only takes time and consistency on your part.
Toxic relationships are clutter. Evaluate your circle. If people aren’t really for you, they must go. It is okay to cut people out of your life who are not good for your life. You don’t have to hate them; you just must love you more and want more for your life.
Issues with God is clutter. We often blame him for not answering a prayer the way you wanted it answered. We need to ask Him what his will for your life is. Making time for God has been a sincere item on my to do list for 2020. I wake up every morning and do a devotional with God. I have set times on my calendar to pray. I may study more or pray at other times as well, but I have God on my schedule. I will not put Him last anymore or give Him the scraps of my day. If you want to hear Him when he speaks, work on talking to Him more.
The invisible clutter – mental, emotional, relational – is not easy to see or address but if you want to declutter your life, you must be willing to touch everything in order to get to a better you. So, make a list and identify your invisible clutter; and start to address them one by one. Move forward with decluttering your life one step at a time. You can win, you can declutter you life.